Obviously, the problem now is not that your kid failed to complete his task, but instead that he lied. One day, however, you find that he did not do it – but insists that he did. Consider as an example that you are a parent you've made a deal with your kid that he has to play the piano from 5 to 6 every afternoon. That's when we need to find the real problem, the core problem. You may wonder, why do we have to define goals? Aren’t they just what you want to achieve? That's right, goals are expectations, but other problems lie beneath failed expectations. And third, tell a more complete and accurate story. Then what should one do before a crucial confrontation? The authors offer a set of solutions. Now let’s look at the first part – what to do before a crucial confrontation.Ībout the significance of preparation, it is said that Einstein once said, “I would spend 55 minutes defining the problem and then 5 minutes solving it.” Unfortunately, most people simply ignore the preparation phase in practical applications. Part 3: What to do after a crucial confrontation Part 2: What to do during a crucial confrontation Part 1: What to do before a crucial confrontation Next, we’ll unlock the book in the following three sections. Before its publication, the authors did thirty years of research in various industries and concluded a methodology for dealing with crucial confrontations and achieving interpersonal harmony. The solutions provided by this book have been used by over 300 members of Fortune 500 companies. Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler are all senior corporate consultants, the latter two of whom have provided services to dozens of Fortune 500 companies. He is also an outstanding researcher and speaker. David Maxfield has his doctoral degree in Psychology from Stanford University. Dyer Distinguished Alumni Award from Brigham Young University's Marriott School of Management. Kerry Patterson did his doctoral work in organizational behavior at Stanford University. The book is co-authored by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler, and David Maxfield. So how can we deal with crucial confrontations effectively and strengthen relationships while we making others take responsibility? Crucial Confrontations will give us the answer. Undoubtedly, these two options not only fail to solve the conflicts but also risk making the situation worse. Also, either side could become even more unhappy with the other, which could create an infinite vicious circle. Handling a situation with violence always shifts the focus from problem-solving to accusing the other of having an ill temperament. Violence is often the final product of repeated silence because those involved just can't bear it anymore. As the extreme opposite of silence, the other option is violence. However, the damage of silence lies in that the other person can take your silence as passive permission of the action, and that can undermine the principle of fairness in social norms. The ones who choose silence see an immediate result as acceptable and believe that the conflict would escalate if they confront it. In case of a crucial confrontation, most people resort to one of two options. When you want to confront them face to face and ask them to shoulder their responsibility, that's when a crucial confrontation takes place. In our daily life, we encounter undisciplined employees, bosses that break their commitments, kids that lie about coming home late, or strangers that cut in line. Today we’ll unlock the book Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior.
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